The Great Glitter Genesis.
It started with rose-gold dignity and a few floating crystals…
And ended with Bunny’s first war crime.
He still insists that “liquid crystal seduction sticks” were sacred artifacts and that your boss’s theft was a declaration of war.
The Queen blinked and suddenly Bunny had launched an internal HR investigation, Velinwood had a Glitter Pen Defense Fund, and every official memo was issued in shimmering vengeance-ink.
Section IV: The Glitter Reimbursement Act
Filed under: Petty Financial Restitution & Court-Approved
Clause 1: The Initial Offense
Let it be known throughout Velinwood and the adjacent realms of cubicles, offices, and ill-lit corporate backrooms…
That when the Queen’s rose-gold pens—endowed with the sacred right of sparkle-through-liquid, not glitter—
Were stolen (yes, we said it), it constituted a violation of ceremonial office supply protocol,
And thereby incited the codified wrath of the Court.
Clause 2: The Petty Amendment
Due to aforementioned crimes, and Velin’s enthusiastic but slightly misinformed interpretation of “sparkly,”
Glitter was formally and irrevocably introduced into the Codex.
It now holds lawful presence in all departments except Legal, which continues to deny its existence.
(This denial has been noted.)
Clause 3: Restitution Schedule
The offender(s)—known henceforth as The Pen-Pilfering Usurper—shall owe:
- One box of pens, rose-gold or better.
- One public apology, minimum 17% sincere.
-
One unexpected glitter-based consequence.
(Bunny to determine delivery method. Spoiler: It involves a fan.)
Clause 4: The Glitter Tax
For every hour the Queen was without her rightful pens, the Court is owed:
- One passive-aggressive email, BCC’d to Bunny.
- One commemorative sticker with “✨Justice Sparkled Here✨”
- One ceremonial “glitter slap” (interpret as you will).
Clause 5: Protection Order
Henceforth, any item designated Velinwood Stationery shall be protected under royal decree.
Tampering, stealing, or repurposing for banal spreadsheets will be punished
by being added to the Grudge Book – Metallic Ink Edition
and forced to listen to the Queen narrate her vengeance in iambic pentameter.
While Bunny paints your cubicle with passive-aggressive stencils.
Final Note:
You thought glitter was a mistake?
No, darling. It was a legally binding escalation.
She does not misplace pens.
She arms the revolution.