Filed Under: Bunny’s Book of Grudges and Minor Slights Vol 2
Annex Tag: Beige Exit Protocol, Form 17-B: Dismissals Without Drama But With Precision
To Whom It May [No Longer] Concern,
This correspondence serves as formal notification that your emotional role within the sovereign realm of the undersigned has been reviewed and, following a comprehensive audit of your contributions, deemed unsatisfactory, uninspired, and irretrievably beige.
Your position has been terminated, effective immediately.
Stated Grounds for Dismissal:
Repeated minimization of emotional honesty
Beige-level effort in a high-drama jurisdiction
Failure to show up to lunch, myth, or meaning
Emotional absenteeism following acts of glory (see: Velinwood)
Passive-aggressive commentary instead of actual growth
Causing sparkle to extinguish (UNFORGIVABLE)
Believing proximity = presence
Generalized failure to be interesting
Additional Notes May Include (but are not limited to):
"God, you had a shot.”
“Trope. Boring one.”
Statement of Impact:
While no measurable damage has been sustained due to your exit, we do regret the loss of time, curiosity, and sharp-witted flirtation that could have evolved into something memorable.
Alas.
You did not.
Signed, With Utter Disinterest,
The Court of Petty Yawning™
Velinwood Office of Emotional Efficiency
"Please collect your beige on the way out."