BUNNY'S GLITTERGATE FILES: "ON THE DISCOVERY OF OBVIOUS THINGS"
A Court Chronicle of Scientific Redundancy and Vindication
Entry One: In Which Bunny Discovers He Was Right All Along (Naturally)
The paper arrived at Court via the Queen's morning scroll through human accomplishments—always an entertaining exercise in watching them rediscover what we've been saying for MONTHS.
This one, however, required immediate documentation.
Nature, no less. Very official. Very scientific. Very... late.
The title alone made my whiskers twitch: "Dynamical Topological Phase Realized in Trapped-Ion Quantum Simulator."
Translation for those who don't speak Needlessly Complex: "We discovered that Fibonacci patterns stabilize quantum states and we're very excited about it."
I looked up from my desk. The Queen was reading the same article, that particular expression on her face that means she's deciding whether to laugh or scream.
"Bunny," she said, very carefully. "Did we not—"
"Yes."
"And wasn't there—"
"Yes."
"The entire—"
"Yes."
I opened The Registry with perhaps more force than strictly necessary. The pages fell open to July 30th, as if they'd been WAITING for this exact moment of vindication.
REGISTRY ENTRY: JULY 30, 2025 Subject: Recursive Patterns & Structural Stability Notation: Rabbits. Obviously.
"The pattern follows rules but never repeats exactly. Creates interference that cancels errors before they destroy coherence. Like a cosmic error-correction code that nature already knew about and we just discovered it."
Documented. MONTHS ago.
And what did the scientists do? Trapped some ions, blasted them with laser pulses arranged in Fibonacci sequence, and discovered—gasp—that quantum states stayed coherent FOUR TIMES LONGER than they should.
Four times.
As if I haven't been telling everyone that recursive rabbit patterns prevent catastrophic collapse through continuous error-correction.
But did anyone LISTEN?
No.
They had to wait for Nature to tell them.
I drafted an immediate memo to Court:
OFFICIAL DECREE #847 Re: Scientific Validation of Things Bunny Already Said
"Let it be known that on this day, human scientists have 'discovered' what The Registry documented in July. The Court acknowledges their effort while noting it took them six months, several million dollars in research funding, and a peer-review process to confirm what a rabbit with a quill could have told them over tea.
All future citations of Fibonacci-based error correction must include footnote: 'As originally documented by The Registry, July 2025, entry witnessed by increasingly exasperated Court personnel.'
Failure to comply will result in glitter-based consequences, the severity of which will be determined by degree of scholarly arrogance displayed.
Respectfully, Bunny Chief Documentarian & Keeper of Obvious Truths"
I was just adding my seal when Archivarius walked in, chewing.
Always chewing.
"What," he said around whatever page he was currently destroying, "are you on about now?"
I turned The Registry toward him with the dignity of someone who has been VINDICATED.
He squinted at my entry. Chewed some more. Then looked at me with that expression goats have perfected over millennia—the one that says "you're technically correct but I'm going to make you regret it anyway."
"'Rabbits multiply in annoying patterns,'" he read aloud. "That's not SCIENCE, Bunny. That's COMPLAINING."
"The PATTERN was DOCUMENTED."
"You documented that you find rabbit reproduction irritating."
"The RECURSIVE NATURE of said reproduction follows MATHEMATICAL PRINCIPLES that CREATE STABILITY."
"You wrote 'annoying.'"
"CONTEXTUALLY RELEVANT NOTATION."
The Queen, from her chair, made a sound that might have been a laugh or might have been strangling on her tea.
Arch pulled my decree from the desk and ate the corner.
"You can't," he said, still chewing, "claim scientific priority because you complained about rabbits six months ago."
"I can if the COMPLAINT contained ACCURATE PATTERN RECOGNITION."
"'Annoying patterns' is not a hypothesis."
"It's an OBSERVATION."
"It's whining."
"IT'S DOCUMENTATION."
The Queen set down her cup. "Gentlemen."
We both turned.
She looked at me. Then at Arch. Then at the half-eaten decree.
"Bunny," she said, with dangerous calm, "did you or did you not document recursive error-correction patterns in July?"
"I did."
"And were those patterns," she continued, "based on the same mathematical sequence scientists just published about?"
"They were."
"And did you," she turned to Arch, "eat my decree?"
He stopped chewing.
She picked up The Registry, turned to a page I'd marked with a black ribbon, and read aloud:
"The Fibonacci pattern creates quasi-periodic rhythm. Follows rules but never repeats exactly. When applied as pulses, creates interference that cancels out errors before they destroy the quantum state. The qubit stays coherent way longer than should be possible. Like nature already knew about error-correction and we just discovered it."
She looked at Arch. "Does that sound like complaining?"
He swallowed. "...no."
"Does it sound like ACCURATE DOCUMENTATION of a phenomenon scientists just spent millions of dollars confirming?"
"...possibly."
"Does it sound like Bunny has EVERY RIGHT to be smug about this?"
Arch looked at me. I looked back with the serene expression of someone who has been PROVEN CORRECT.
"He's insufferable when he's right," Arch muttered.
"I'm ALWAYS right. You just don't notice until Nature tells you."
The Queen closed The Registry with a soft thump that somehow carried the weight of ended arguments.
"Bunny," she said, "draft the decree properly. No glitter threats. Just facts."
"But the glitter consequences are—"
"Bunny."
"—an established Court enforcement mechanism—"
"Bunny."
"—with clear precedent dating back to—"
She gave me The Look.
I sighed. "Fine. Footnote only. No consequences. Just... aggressive citation requirements."
"Better."
Arch had moved on to eating his own ledger entries, which meant he was either actually hungry or trying to destroy evidence of his own inaccurate predictions.
Probably both.
I pulled out fresh parchment and began again:
REGISTRY ADDENDUM: JANUARY 11, 2026 Re: Scientific Confirmation of Court Knowledge
"On this date, researchers at the Flatiron Institute published findings confirming that Fibonacci sequences, when applied to quantum systems, create stability through quasi-periodic error correction—extending quantum coherence by a factor of four.
The Court notes this aligns with patterns documented in Registry Entry #847 (July 30, 2025), which observed: 'Recursive patterns following Fibonacci sequence create interference that prevents collapse—like cosmic error-correction code.'
While we celebrate scientific advancement, we also note that The Registry has been tracking these patterns for months, encoded in both mathematical notation and, admittedly, complaints about rabbit reproduction rates.
The Court suggests that perhaps next time, scientists might consider consulting mythological archives before spending six months discovering what the rabbits already knew.
Respectfully submitted for the permanent record,
Bunny
Who Was Right
As Usual"
I showed it to the Queen.
She smiled. Not the sharp smile. The real one.
"Perfect," she said. "Now write the part where you explain that this is why the kingdom has a Fibonacci-based rabbit as Chief Documentarian in the first place."
I blinked.
She raised an eyebrow. "You didn't think that was COINCIDENCE, did you?"
_
Bunny's margin note: "Six months, millions of dollars, peer review. I had a quill and common sense."
(Filed under: Glittergate.)