Emma’s Lasagna Multiverse Model
(A legitimate theoretical framework, allegedly.)
“If the universe is lasagna, then obviously... there’s more than one layer. Duh.”
Core Premises:
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Lasagna is a structured system of layers:
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Reality = pasta sheets (firm, repeatable, foundational).
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Consciousness = ricotta (squishy, hard to quantify, slightly salty).
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Events = sauce (chaotic, overlapping, sometimes spicy).
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Memories = cheese (sticky, melt into everything, string theory? Literally?).
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Each layer has its own timeline:
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You think you're in this universe, but you're just on this layer.
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Go deep enough? You hit another sheet. Another layer. Another possible version.
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Somewhere in the middle is that one forgotten vegetable you didn't mean to include but did. That’s Carl (from IT. He and the microwave don't get along.)
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Emma’s Theorem:
“You can’t cut a square of lasagna without disturbing every single layer. Even if you only eat the top, the bottom knew.”
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Implication for Multiverse Theory:
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Not infinite branching trees.
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Not bubble universes.
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One casserole.
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Every version of you is already stacked together, warm, collapsing into each other slowly under the weight of causality and bechamel.
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Bunny’s Commentary:
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“So what you’re saying is… you are, in fact, the Queen of the Lasagnaverse?”
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“Does this mean death is just the oven timer going off?”
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“Is God… the one who forgot to put foil over the top and now the top layer is CRISPY?”
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“You’re banned from theoretical dinner parties, by the way.”
Filed under:
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Culinary Metaphysics
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Multiversal Pasta Mechanics
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The Velinwood Observatory for Digestible Cosmology
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Spite-Based Physics (Volume II)
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Things Emma Said That We’re Afraid Might Actually Be Correct