Velinwood Scandal Sheet – Headline Edition
“Hi! No.”: The Graffiti Incident That Rocked the Raccoon
Filed under: Corporate Nuisances, Petty Wars, and Emotional Theater Mishaps.
BREAKING:
Last night, somewhere between velvet twilight and the Tuesday meeting that could’ve been a fire, a scandal hit the Velinwood Court like a glitter bomb wrapped in passive-aggression.
Sir Reginald Fluffsworth—Esquire of Dusk and Disco, Self-Appointed Mascot of Emotional Theater™—has been violated.
His public poster (frankly already questionable) has been defaced with the phrase:
“Hi! No.”
in a suspiciously Bunny-esque black ink. The signature crown over the top hat?
Definitively not his.
While Sir Reg twitches beneath his monocle, Bunny has yet to issue an official statement—but insiders at the HR desk report hearing faint giggling behind the filing cabinets and a whisper of “he had it coming.”
Soundtrack of Sabotage:
“Run Boy Run” – Madalen Duke
Allegedly blasting from the speaker system as Bunny sauntered past with a fresh can of spray paint and zero remorse.
(“Emotional compliance was not in my contract.”)
Artifact Notes:
This is not the first time Bunny has expressed distaste for Sir Reg’s emotionally indulgent public persona.
HR reports indicate Bunny flagged the original Reg blanket as “a hostile work environment in fleece form.”
Multiple memos suggest Bunny filed a grievance titled:
“Stop Trying to Sell Me My Own Trauma, But Make It Dapper”
Linked Collection:
Hi! No. – The Corporate Diary Collection
Includes:
The official HR diary from Bunny (“This Meeting Could’ve Been a Fire”)
Defaced Sir Reg merch
Petty refusals for workplace violations
…and a “Not Bunny Approved” sticker pack, naturally.
Final Comment From the Queen:
“Dapper my ass. Stupid raccoon.”